Harry Potter and the Random Fangirl
by Lady Cocoa
Summary: Part one of the One Hundred Random Oneshots series. Emsaduem, a fellow author, randomly pops up in history class. How will Harry fell about Harry Potter in 99 Seconds? What happens when Emsaduem gets ahold of a broomstick? And where is a phychiatrist when you need one?


**_ Harry Potter and the Random Fangirl Who is Unbelievably Obsessed With Him_**

**Full Summary:Emsaduem, my fellow author, pops up in History class. How will Harry feel about ****_Harry Potter in 99 Seconds_****? What happens when she gets ahold of a broomstick? And where is a phychiatrist when you need one? Part one of the ****One Hundred Random Oneshots**** series.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own ****_Harry Potter_****, the lyrics to ****_Harry Potter in 99 Seconds_****, or Emsaduem. That would be just plain weird. However, I ****_do_**** own the plot.**

It was history class. Professor Binns was droning on and on about the Great Goblin Civil War. So, naturally, all but Hermione, who was furiously scribbling down everything word for word, were falling asleep. Harry, the star of this show, had droopy eyes. Ron Weasley had actually fallen asleep. A bit of drool dribbled down his cheek.

And naturally, they all became wide awake and alert when a swirling portal dumped out a strange-looking girl.

She wore jeans and a white blouse, which confused the "purebloods." She wore no makeup, but had a pair of white pearl earrings that were so clean and shiny they hurt to look at. Frizzy brown hair tamed by a ponytail went down to her shoulders, and large brown eyes dominated her face.

Her name was Emsaduem.

At first, Emsaduem's face was confused and scared. Then she grinned. That grin turned into a perfect-toothed smile (Hermione's parents would have been proud), which became more scary than pleasant. By now, even Professor Binns (who had looked up for a class discussion on the Battle of the Burning Hills) was looking at this strange new girl.

"Oh my," he exclaimed, stepping back and tripping over a loose floorboard.

But she paid him no mind.

Her eyes were locked on Harry's.

Harry froze and gulped. It was only his third year, and so much had happened to him! Evil professors, basilisks, a serial killer who was also his godfather and out to kill him, and now this? A psycho girl with a smile that would make a shark cringe?

Emsaduem started to slowly walk toward Harry. Nobody in the room moved a muscle, not even Professor Binns (who, by the way, was cowering behind his desk).

"Hello, Harry," she said, still grinning like a maniac. _How does she know my name?_ Harry thought. He gulped.

Harry said, "Hello." She stepped forward again.

"How old are you, Harry?" Emsaduem asked. Her sneaker-clad feet tapped the cold stone floor impatiently.

"Thirteen. Why? And how do you know my name?" he asked. By now Harry was reaching for his wand in his pocket, prepared to cast a spell and make a quick escape. The girl sighed.

"Everybody knows who you are, Harry," she said, twirling a stray piece of hair that had escaped from her ponytail around her finger. Emsaduem inched a little closer. "Especially me," she whispered.

Harry scooched his seat away the possibly (no, certainly) crazy girl. She let out a blood-curdling cackle that raised goosebumps on everyone's arms (imagine Bellatrix's laugh, but emitting from a pre-teen Harry Potter fangirl).

Emsaduem snapped her head back to face Harry. The majority of the students stood up and began to inch their ways towards the door, hoping the psycho girl wouldn't notice them. Professor Binns, the tiny person that he was, ducked under his desk.

"Oh, I know so much about you, Harry Potter. I know that…" she broke off. Then, the unbelievable happened: she broke into song.

_"There once was a boy named Harry,_

_Destined to be a star_

_His parents were killed by Voldemort_

_Who gave him a lightning scar."_

Emsaduem poked Harry where his scar was, hard. Harry cried out in pain. You would have, too. She takes karate. "Yo Harry, you're a wizard!" she whispered loudly. Emsaduem cackled that evil laugh again.

All but Harry, Hermione, Ron, Neville (who was about to leave), and Professor Binns, who was hurrying up the staircase to his office, had left. They wanted nothing to do with a "Harry Potter" situation.

_"Harry goes to Hogwarts_

_He meets Ron and Hermione_

_Mcgonogall requires he play for Griffindor_

_"Draco is a daddy's boy_

_Quirrel becomes unemployed_

_The Socerer's Stone is destroyed by Dum-Ble-Dore."_

Emsaduem climbed on top of the teacher-s desk. She raised her voice and gestured as if she was singing opera.

_"Ron breaks his wand_

_Now Ginny's gone_

_And Harry's in mortal danger_

_"Tom Riddle hides_

_His snake inside_

_His ginourmous secret chamber_

_"Harry blows up Aunt Marge_

_Dementors come and take charge_

_Lupin is a…"_

She stopped in mid-song. She poked Harry in his scar once more, screeching, "I can't tell you! Mwahaha!" The girl ran over to Ron, yanked his hair, and ran out of the classroom smiling and laughing like a maniac.

"Uh, Harry, who was that?" Ron asked.

"I haven't the slightest idea," he replied.

Hemione said in a warning tone, "We have to get her before she gets into trouble. There's no telling what a muggle could do in Hogwarts!"

_Meanwhile, on the staircases…_

"Wheee! Emsaduem screamed as she slid down the staircases. _I haven't had this much fun since I was a kid,_ she thought. _Oh wait, I'm still a kid!_ She remembered. The girl wasn't really scared about falling off the stairs and plummeting to her death. She was having too much of a good time to care.

Emsaduem's ponytail holder was lost to the wind shortly after. Her hair flew out from behind her, giving her the appearance of a banshee. One poor Hufflepuff girl, who thought she really _was_ a banshee, fainted and knocked out about 30 people behind her using the domino effect.

"Best. Day. Ever!" Emsaduem shrieked as she slid past Professor Snape. He pointed his wand at her, prepared to punish whoever had been sliding down the staircases so supidly. However, the strange girl was too far away to aim at. There was also the factor that if you blinked you could miss her.

Professor Mcgonogall only had time to wonder which (not what) imbecile had broken several rules (one of them breakage of the dress code) before she was knocked over by Emsaduem's left foot. "Hey cat lady!" she yelled over her shoulder. The stunned professor blinked and stood up, straightening her hat. She had to tell the headmaster about this dangerous rulebreaker (and possible muggle infiltrator). Somebody could get hurt!

_Back to Emsaduem…_

_That face… Why did it look so familiar?_ Emsaduem wondered. Oh yes… That was Draco Malfoy! Hatred and rage filled her thoughts, but she smiled. She smiled as if she was the happiest person alive (she was, by the way. She was in Hogwarts, so pretty much all her dreams had came true).

When Emsaduem passed the pureblood know-it-all jerk, she stuck out his hand, balled into a fist. That fist collided with Draco's face. It also collided with the exact spot where Hermione had punched him earlier. Emsaduem didn't know this, as she had no idea at what point of the book she was in, but she became happier all the same, if that was even possible.

"Thanks!" Emsaduem exclaimed as she grabbed some poor second-year boy's broomstick. He yelped, but after a quick decision, whipped out his camera and took a few pictures of the broomstick-stealing girl. He needed evidence of the theft… and he really just liked taking pictures.

She leaped off the staircase and onto another, passing over Luna Lovegood, who was unfazed, and Cho Chang, who was not so unfazed. The girl jumped onto her new broomstick and sped out the window, cackling. Emsaduem rushed over to the Quidditch pitch with ease; she had never flown a broomstick before, but it was obvious she was a natural.

The girl spun in circles, laughing and laughing until her throat got sore. Eventually, she became bored and plopped down on the highest Quidditch goal. Spotting an owl, she called out to it, but he ignored her.

Harry, dragging Dumbledore and a few other professors, soon ventured outside. They all looked up at that one hoop, probably wondering how that maniac got ahold of a broomstick.

Dumbledore, being the wise man he was, walked up to Emsaduem. He said, in a commanding tone, "Whoever you are, could you please come down from there? It is dangerous to sit upon that hoop at such a high elevation."

Emsaduem shook her head. "Nuh-uh. You come up here, old man. Besides, it's all fun and windy up here."

Dumbledore took out his wand, prepared to float the girl down and either erase her memory or give her a detention, but he never got the chance. He stopped in the middle of an incantation, his wand pointed and ready. Emsaduem froze too. So did Harry, Draco, Professor Snape, and everybody else in Hogwarts. In fact, the whole world stood still.

Time stood still.

In the Owlery, Hedwig stopped in midflight. A Griffindor had tripped, too, and her books and ink bottle were caught suspended in the air.

Back on the Quidditch pitch, a dark figure stepped out of the shadows. None of its features were visible from under its hood. It quickly waved its arms, erasing the memories of all who were in Hogwarts. It nimbly picked up Emsaduem and leaped through a portal as black as the night sky.

To this day, nobody remembers that incident except for Emsaduem (as a dream) and the dark figure.

But a few wizards and witches were unexplainably on the Quidditch pitch, and Draco had an unexplainable double bruise on his left cheek.

**Just so you know, I would still appreciate the reviews, favorites, and follows, even though I will not update because this is a oneshot. It makes me feel all warm and fluffy inside :) Plus, my friend Lily Luna Lestrange III and I are having a oneshot contest . Whoever gets the most reviews, follows, and favorites by April 26 gets to take home a flying foam airplane that we made in class. My next oneshot will be posted on April 27.**

**Thank you,**

**Lady Cocoa**


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